For Better or For Worse...

Ok, so I just found out earlier this week that my ex-husband is getting/got married. LOL I had been hearing rumors that he was going to get married to a little girl etc. but he's been asking everyone that he's dated since we've got our divorce, so I didn't think it was for real this time... LOL! Well it was. ANYWAYS, things just kept getting better from there. For any of you who don't know when we got married it was January 24th, well Brad and his fiance/wife decided that they were going to get married literally the Saturday before. (That is literally 7 days before the 24th) I found this amusing for two reasons. One because I know SOMEWHERE in the conversation of them deciding what day it was going to be the topic came up about "Well what about the 24th" and there was a big hell no, OORRR he just didn't tell her what day we were married. (Which leaves the honor to me :D haha I'll get to that later.


Well, as the week went on I hear where exactly they are getting married, turns out to be the building right in front of where Brad and I use to live. LOL! Who the FREAK does that!?! I guess them... So then the week progresses... Day before the wedding Shonda gives me a ring and tells me about how they have now put the announcement on the marquee at Wendy's. Let me say that again for those of you who didn't get that.... eh hem.... WEEENNNDDDYYYY'SSS!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Maybe, they shoulda thought about havin' their nuptials through the pickup window!

Oh my gads, I have never laughed so hard in my life! They went through the trouble of stickin' each letter up there, but couldn't even put their picture in the newspaper where all the rest of the normal people in the world stick their announcement! Have I mentioned lately how DUMB it was to marry this guy and how smart it was to DIVORCE him?!?

Ok so as many of you know, Brad refuses to get himself off of my bank account that I've had since I was little, and I refuse to close it (because it's MY freakin' account!) So I took it upon myself to write his new bride. Askin' her nicely since now they are married that maybe she could do something about his refusal. I also may or may not have mentioned the wedding date being so close to ours and the place of marriage being so oddly close to where we made our home. So, I've gone off on tangents a couple times about this to different people, but only because I think it's SOOO ridiculous! IF I ever decide to get married again, you can sure bet the farm that I'm not going to have it in anyway similar to my last wedding OR if I'm getting married to another divorcee will I make it anything similar to HIS last wedding. Not in the same month, not the same town (let alone the same block), not the same COLORS... EW!

This only now leaves me to assume that because he doesn't feel the same way about that, that he's not quite over the whole thing like we would hope him to be. I mean, at first I only had the bank account and his refusal to take his name off of it after 4 freaking years, but now all this?? Are you serious???? Wow. Move on and quit trying to re-live whatever it is you think we had. Because whatever it was, was a huge MISTAKE.

There's probably some people out there readin' this wondering why I'm even bothering to write something about this, well here's your answers:

#1~ It's freakin' hilarious!!!!

#2~ Because I still have to deal with the idiot! I make truck payments for him (not willingly mind you) Get calls on my cell phone from bill collectors asking where he's at and how to get a hold of him because he can't pay his bills

#3~ Hear stories constantly from everyone about HE divorced ME when I have legal paperwork stating ME as the petitioner and him as the respondent, and fabricated stories about what caused our whole divorce...

#4~ One of the main reasons I moved away from home, away from my friends, was because he was stalking me everywhere I went after our divorce was final. Whenever I talked to guy's, he thought he needed to pull up next to me and stare down whomever I was talking to. Or he would constantly drive by the house in his mom's suburban (ya know, because I we had been married for over a year and I didn't know what his mom drove.) Which, I should have realized he would do because he did the same thing when we were just dating, and had broken up because he was being controlling.

#5~ Because I want everyone to know what kind of a bullet I dodged BY divorcing him. Most everyone knows, but it's also a good thing for me to hear every now and again because I DID go through hell with him, I had never been so depressed as when I was with him, nor have I since. Not because I didn't want to be with him, but because he made me feel so badly about myself that I thought he was all I deserved. All I could get.

I thought he was my only chance at happiness. He stripped me from my friends, from my family. I was cut off from everything that I had known and only allowed to see things through his eyes. Only go to his friends and families houses. We fought physically ALL the freakin' time. He was the most controling person I have ever met. I wasn't even allowed to work until we started hurting for money. He called me the worst names that I now hear other people using today, and it just makes me cringe. I would have stayed in that horrible environment had I not started talking to Shonda again behind his back at first. She gave me the strength to stand up to him when it came to what I wanted. She gave me the strength to even notice that there was a way out, and that I could do it. Even if he was my only chance at happiness, I wasn't even happy. She gave me the strength to get the papers ready and signed to get away from all that.

I'm not gonna lie, I still have issues that I need to work out after all that. I'm definitely NOT the same person I was when I was married. I don't let people walk all over me anymore. I don't let guys make me feel guilty for anything anymore, I don't tolerate being called names. I do however think the only thing I have a problem with is commitment issues. I just can't get close to anyone, when I know there is a chance at something working out. Mainly because I don't want to give up who I am for someone else again, and I shouldn't have to. Your husband/wife should add to who you are, not take away from it. They are an extension of who you are and what you believe in, they aren't your identity. And until that happens, until I find someone that the opposite doesn't happen when we are only dating...I won't settle down. I won't lessen who I am just to make someone else happy. It's my life, I've only got one, and I'm living it the best that I think I can. That may change from day to day, but as long as it's what I want... then that's all that should matter.

Besides that Adelman is going to support me until I'm old and gray anyways, he doesn't know this...but he will soon enough :P HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!